Romantic relationships: the epitome of complicated.
Once in a while, I like to surf on various personal development forums and read some of the recent threads. I can’t tell you how many threads on these forums are started by people who just broke up or they’re on the verge of breaking up with their partner.
They’re scared, frustrated and desperate for some guidance. It’s puzzling how most of us are so evolved in terms of the technology we use daily, yet so primitive in our understanding of intimate interpersonal relationships.
Over the past few days, I’ve been reviewing The Magic of Making Up, by T.W. Jackson (aka T Dub). This ebook is the leading guide for people who want to get back with their ex and save their relationship. It really got me thinking about this topic.
Feel free to find out more about this ebook here.
Is Getting Back Together The Best Move?
I know that many people, under the emotional turmoil of a break up (read: being dumped), have the automatic impulse of trying to make up with their partner.
It’s a natural reaction. Your mind is trying to get rid of the pain, by getting rid of its perceptible source: the break up. However, before acting upon this impulse, it’s best to ask yourself: is this the best course of action for me in the long-run?
Sometimes it’s better to accept a relationship ended and move on, as hurtful as it may be at first. T.W. Jackson makes a good point about this in The Magic of Making Up:
The truth is, if you get back with your ex and it truly brings you the long-lasting happy ending you want, then the book has served its best purpose.
But if getting back together with your ex is only going to take you down a long and messy road of misery and unhappiness, it’s probably better than you don’t get what you want this time.
The First Step to Stopping a Break Up
Many relationships are worth saving. If you believe your relationship is in this group, the good news is that you can take concrete, strategic steps to stopping a break up or making up.
This video by T Dub has some powerful pointers on the mistakes to avoid doing in the context of a break up, and the first step to actually implement if you want to save your relationship.
Personally, I found the video not only insightful, but also amusing. Because the mistakes to avoid are the exact things I believe most people tend to do in a brash attempt to salvage a relationship and make the pain go away.
The best action steps are often counterintuitive. This is why, frequently, the utmost thing you can do is to resist your first instinct, think things through and act in a lucid, not emotional way.
Rebuilding the Connection
I believe that ultimately, making up is about recreating a lost emotional connection. That’s the only constructive approach to it.
Trying to guilt your partner into making up with you or to plead your way back into a relationship is either A) not going to work or B) work but get you right back where you started from in just a couple of months.
Manipulation is not a productive method to build any relationship, least of all a romantic relationship.
If you got into a relationship with a person and you both enjoyed it once, it’s because you had some sort of an emotional connection. But that connection either dwindled away in time, or it shattered all of a sudden due to various reasons.
Find a way to restore that emotional connection, and you have a healthy relationship again.
This is what I like about The Magic of Making Up. The best thing I can say in my review of this book is that it doesn’t teach you how to trick your way into a relationship, out of desperation. Instead:
- It helps you understand what caused the breach in your relationship and decide if salvaging it is the best step;
- It teaches you an effective, step-by-step strategy to reignite the flame, rebuild the connection and get back with your ex;
- It provides pertinent advice on how to strengthen your relationship after making up and avoid ending up in the same situation again.
Check out The Magic of Making Up here.
If you have a relationship you want to salvage, you definitely need to read this ebook. It’s the best product on the market on the topic of making up and it will not disappoint you.
Image courtesy of CourtneyCarmody