Client: “I’ve always been lacking the confidence to speak up. In childhood, my parents were very harsh with me and would always criticize me when I opened my mouth. There was this one time when I was 9…”
Me: “Aham (cough)… I don’t really need to know that. Give me an example of how this lack [...]
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Get Off the Therapy Couch! Why Exploring the Past Is Nonsense
How to Deal With Toxic People
We’ve all met them: they are the people who drain you of energy instead of enriching you, the people who pull you down instead of pushing you up, the people who require more then they can provide; the negative, wining, needy, manipulative people who can turn a happy day into a living hell.
I call them [...]
Improve People Skills Fast Through Immersion
I’m not generally a big fan of quick fixes and claims of fast improvement, for people skills or any other soft skill. I believe that most of them ignore the natural level of practice and repetition learning requires and they usually over-promise. However, I think there is one smart, effective way to get relatively quick [...]
Why Family Pressure Is Heavy Pressure and How to Lighten the Load
Even the people I know with really good people skills are often little babies when it comes to handling family pressure on them to think, feel or act in certain ways. They may be able to easily refuse a colleague’s invitation to go bowling, but when mom asks them to visit for dinner, they just [...]
Happiness Really Is in the Little Things
I’m on a train going to visit my parents. Next to me, there is this old lady with an enthusiasm to envy. She’s looking out the window and saying: “Look at all the trees! They’re so green! And look at all the beautiful houses!” I look at her attentively for a moment and I realize [...]
How to Give the Really Negative Feedback to the People Who Really Can’t Take It
One thing I find interesting about the people who have the biggest flaws is that very often they’re also the ones who have the hardest time seeing them and accepting them. If a person is a real pain in the ass, she probably sees herself as a really cool person, with awesome people skills, who [...]
The Elusive Reason Why Success Is Elusive
You will hear people talk about various reason why success in various areas is so elusive: lack of a clear goal, lack of the right attitude, lack of consistent action. All solid reasons. Yet, whenever I would hear them, I would get a feeling of that’s-not-all-there-is.
I didn’t know what was missing at first, but I [...]
Empathy vs. Sympathy: The Big Distinction
Here is one distinction I make which I notice helps a lot of people. It makes it easier for them to take the best decisions in communication, in interactions with others, and it assists them to improve their people skills. This distinction is between two similar sounding concepts.
Empathy: the ability to understand, perceive and feel [...]
Why Less Is More in Personal Development
I was reading earlier today a presentation of a one-day communication skills training, and browsing over the content. This training covers everything from non-verbal communication, to conflict management, to business communication, to presenting with impact. All in just one, single day!
There was a point a long time ago when I used to do the same. [...]
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