People Skills Decoded

I often say that the most valuable resource we have in life is time. Time is the only resource that cannot get replenished. You can perhaps extend it a bit by living healthy, but beyond that what you get is what you get, and your responsibility is to use it wisely. So if there is [...]

I write a social confidence newsletter which currently has over 10.000 subscribers. One frequent question I get from subscribers is: “What are some good comebacks to use when someone makes fun of you?” This question reminds me of my days in middle school and part of high school when me and my peers used to [...]

Note: You can now connect with me on Twitter and Facebook. Please do so. If you study the people who bond the easiest with others and have the richest social lives, it doesn’t take long to realize that much of their social success resides in the fact they are very friendly and gregarious, with both girls and guys. [...]

If you’re shy and interested in finding a job, you may be wondering: What are some good jobs for shy people? The traditional advice concerning jobs for shy people goes something like this: since you are shy, you will feel uncomfortable dealing with people. Therefore, you should pick work where you don’t interact a lot [...]

Me, I’m an oddball. I follow a healthy eating plan although I’m thin as a rail (which most people find strange), I believe in polyamory, and I often say some of the most retarded stuff you can imagine in conversations. Many of the persons I coach have this belief that they are weird and that [...]

In the last few years, I’ve given a lot of thought to the question: What makes one happy? I think there is a lot of variation, as each person is different, but there is at least one common thread. And that thread is good relationships. I think that, on the whole, the people with the [...]

Social confidence is the term I use to describe the type of confidence that concerns social situations and dealing with other persons. I think most people have a profound misunderstanding of what it takes to develop social confidence. The problem is that they treat social confidence like any other type of confidence, and they believe [...]

I think that one of the most dreadful feelings to have is the feeling that you’re running out of time. That life is passing by you and you’re not doing the things you want to do, you’re not living it the way you could be living it. Really, apart from physical pain, I can’t think [...]

I don’t believe in good language and bad language. I also don’t believe in good people and bad people. I’m not interested in broad labels and I try not to judge things or people based on them, but on factual results. Personally, I don’t have any problem with words like ‘fuck’, ‘shit’ and so on [...]

Do your work colleagues barely notice you when you enter the office? Does your boss hardly know your name? Do the people you hang out with have no clue what you’ve been doing lately? Do persons of the opposite sex pretty much ignore you? Chances are that you’re socially invisible. I am continually amazed by [...]