I was reading earlier today a presentation of a one-day communication skills training, and browsing over the content. This training covers everything from non-verbal communication, to conflict management, to business communication, to presenting with impact. All in just one, single day!
There was a point a long time ago when I used to do the same. I thought that if I could get everything in there, in as little time as possible, I would deliver a very valuable training. I would also approach my personal development the same way. I would read and browse like a maniac through 5 or 10 books on people skills, then I would decide to practice it…all.
I was naïve, impatient, and had a fragile understanding of human learning. Looking at this way of doing personal development now, whether it’s people skills, confidence, productivity or anything else, it really amuses me.
Here’s the point: people don’t learn that way. A human being is not a computer on which you can install every piece software you’ll ever need in 24 hours, and get it over with. It’s rather like a computer with a 2 Mb software install limit for each day. So it will take you about 3 years just to install the basic operating system (aham… Windows?).
Trying to absorb a lot of information, on various areas of a big topic, in a short amount of time, and then to practice it all is a highly ineffective attempt some people make at developing real skills. It doesn’t work for a couple of reasons:
- You try to cover a lot of concepts and ideas, you only get a superficial understanding of each one;
- You overcharge your memory and you forget that vast majority of the theory you learn;
- You instantly get de-motivated when you think about starting to practice, because you have so much to practice;
- You end up practicing a bit of everything, which doesn’t make anything truly stick and leads nowhere.
The only way reading a lot without applying can make practical sense is if you’re in a phase where you just want to expose yourself to as many ideas as possible on a certain topic, so you can then choose on which to focus on. But the way I see it, this isn’t personal development, it’s just a preparatory, exploratory phase. Don’t expect to grow your skills from this.
The effective way to develop real skills and attitudes is to focus on the key ideas which have the most value for you, explore them in more detail, hammer them into your head and practice them consistently. And you do this one by one with each key idea, instead of all at once.
When I do coaching and trainings on people skills, I follow this exact principle. Some of my clients are initially surprised by the small number of ideas I cover, but as they move to applying them, they quickly understand why I have this approach. And have you noticed that I also usually write in the same manner?
There is more to effective personal development than meets the eye. We all want to improve fast, to absorb as much information as possible in as little time as possible, and then to watch our skills grow by themselves out of this process.
But this is not how self-growth happens. It’s a gradual process, which relies mostly on chunking things down, action, and persistence. This is why in personal development, less is more.
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Hi Eduard, Right on. How many people bounce from one book to the next or think that there is some magic wand that will change them? I see it so often. I always come back to the fact: If it is to be, it is up to ME!
Hi Rob. Most of them I would say. They just expect to find that magic formula in the first book and if they don’t, they quit, or they read books like crazy, as if the actual skills and attitudes will somehow develop through osmosis.
Hi Eduard.
I hear you there. When I go over multiple items quickly, I usually don’t get much out of them(yet I still do this at times). The highest-ranking folks in our society pick one or two things and focus completely on them.
If I’m trying to improve business skills and exercise plans and recipe methods all at once, none of them usually get done. I’d have to focus on one recipe, and getting the ingredients for that one recipe, and cooking it properly, just to get it right. I think public media makes us think big changes are supposed to come all at once.
.-= Armen Shirvanian´s last blog ..Say More Of That Which Is On Your Mind =-.
Hi Armen. I think so too. The people who make real changes and become really good know how to focus on just 1 or 2 key ideas at once and apply them till they’re on fire.
Eduard –
Very nice commentary on how we change and learn. If only we could just download new skills. What I’ve found is that the old joke holds true – “how do you get to carnegie hall – practice!”. By picking one thing at a time to focus on and working hard, we can slowly develop new and sustainable skills- and then carry on to the next challenge. Life – one long and enjoyable project!
Phil
.-= Phil – Less Ordinary Living´s last blog ..Secrets to your Successful Career – Part 2 =-.
How do you get to Carnegie Hall? – Practice!
LOL! And sooo true. I’m gonna tweet this one 🙂
Hi Eduard,
I agree that people are in such a mad rush to get somewhere that they often miss savoring the journey, which is where all the lessons lie. Your clients are lucky indeed to have you slowly guiding them to absorb the pieces of the communication skills puzzle along the way instead of abruptly rushing along to the destination or so-called completion they are seeking.
That’s a good word Tisha: rush. We’re in a mad rush with person development like we’re in a mad rush to get to work in the morning. Unfortunately, real skills development doesn’t work that way.
Nicely summarised Eduard. I sometimes hear people say, I read a book a day or every two days? Oh really, how much do you remember from that book you read three weeks ago? Do you even remember what you read? I like like speed reading if I need to absorb information quickly but otherwise it’s good to take in information at a steady pace so it can be practised and put to good use…otherwise it just becomes redundant information.
.-= Amit Sodha – The Power Of Choice´s last blog ..Video – How To Be A Great Mentor =-.
I sometimes hear people say the some thing Amit. And they say it very proudly. Like it’s some kind of big quality. It also makes me wonder about the people who use speed reading methods. Is that the real point? Speed?
Nice site change Ed and a great little article as well, especially by visualising learning with a daily upload image, a great concept. I am probably going to turn it into a Pictomin.
Cheers pal.
Jonnyyyy! Glad you like at man 😉
I think it really depends on your audience.
For example with an adult audience I will take time on each topic, going over less content but in more detail. But when working with young people this flips as the attention spans of many young people are so short that you need to go over less detail but more content.
.-= Ben´s last blog ..This week’s Personal Development Homework =-.
I think it also depends on your method Ben. If you do public speaking, giving less detail but more content makes sense to a certain degree. Bun when you do a workshop with 6 people, you wanna focus on the subtle details and the practical applications.