The Truth about Being Weird

Me, I’m an oddball.

I follow a healthy eating plan although I’m thin as a rail (which most people find strange), I believe in polyamory, and I often say some of the most retarded stuff you can imagine in conversations.

Many of the persons I coach have this belief that they are weird and that if most people would know them as they are, they would ridicule them or reject them.

So they frequently keep to themselves in social interactions and they avoid showing their true personality.

I want to shed the light once and for all on this weirdness issue. This will help you embrace your weirdness and accept yourself as you are.

Pretty cool, ha?

Everybody Is Weird

Whenever I talk with a person that believes they are quirky or strange, I realize they have this mistaken feeling of being the only one like that. They think just about everyone else is normal, except for them.

In my experience, things couldn’t be further from the truth.

We all have are own peculiarities, we are all deviations from what is routinely considered a ‘normal, respectable person’.

Let me tell you something: that normal person doesn’t exist. It’s a made-up social concept.

The only reality about weirdness is that:

1) Some people’s weirdness is easier to notice because it has to do with the way they look, dress, talk or commonly behave, while other people’s is harder because it relates more with their intimate life.

2) Many individuals are really good at hiding their bizarre side and putting on what they deem as a socially acceptable facade. Get to know them better, and you may find out they attempted suicide twice this year, or who knows what.

The suicide example is a true story, by they way. I recently met this girl who seemed so normal, until… well… I dug deeper. I’m good at that.

Weird Is What Makes People Bond

Okay, some perilous types of weird, like attempting suicide or being a wife beater, can be a turnoff. Although, you’d be surprised how even a trait like that will make you more endearing in somebody’s eyes!

But the general rule is this: it is our weirdness and vulnerability that makes us bond as human beings.

When a person seems to fit the standard pattern too well, they may appear like a quality individual at an intellectual level, but at an emotional level, it’s very hard to bond with such a person.

It’s our peculiarities and our rough edges that make us human and allow us to connect at a deep level, not fitting some unrealistic social standard.

Here’s something essential to know about those individuals who seem (and I stress the word ‘seem’) to be very ‘appropriate’.

You know the type: great job, perfect physical shape, doesn’t drink, doesn’t smoke, doesn’t offend anybody, has all the correct opinions, etc.

Most people I talk with have one thing to say about such individuals:

Booooooring!

Unleash Your True Self

Now, taking into account all that I’ve emphasized so far, there is one proper course of action regarding weirdness:

Bring it into play!

Instead of hiding your true self because you don’t want others to judge you, consciously open up more and express that side of your personality you traditionally hide.

And I don’t mean express it just with some people, if they seem to approve of it. I mean express it with everybody, no matter what they may think of it. This is how you build your self-acceptance.

This only thing that should matter to you is whether you’re OK with that side of your personality. If you are, anything else is secondary.

In my case, I know that I have some bizarre opinions or I make some lifestyle choices that many don’t understand. But I understand them, and they make sense for me. So I have no hesitation in displaying them.

Ultimately, embracing your weird side comes from putting it out there more and changing the way you think about it.

More on this changing your thinking part coming soon, in my social confidence newsletter.

In the meantime, remember that everybody is an oddball in some way; and at the end of the day, those that show it confidently and unrepentantly have the most to gain.

Have fun and stay tuned!

Image courtesy of rishibando

Comments

  1. Now that is what I call keeping it real, Eduard! It is so refreshing to know that someone acknowledges that we as human beings bond because of our differences. It is all a matter of us learning more about ourselves as we learn about others. In doing so, we learn about why “I” is different from the “other”…likewise, we learn why “I” see the world differently from the “other”… and through this, we gain better understanding of not only the world and “the other in the world”, we learn about our “Self” and how we see our place in the world. hmmm ’tis good to be weird 🙂

  2. Exactly, there is no definition or benchmark for weirdness. Totally depends on how we see that.. Being yourself is the best no matter how weird it gets.

  3. I don’t have much of an issue with self-confidence or a sense of identity, but I do have trouble knowing how to express that in a socially appropriate way.

    My “weirdnesses” go a bit beyond a belief in polyamory or a tendency to say strange things.

    I’m sixteen years old, although I often act either much older or much younger than my age (i.e., hating physical activity and having a jaded outlook on life, while watching cartoons). I have several siblings with special needs. I’ve been diagnosed as having schizotypal personality disorder, autistic traits, ADHD, and panic disorder. I want to study psychology, but my true interest is parapsychology. My worst nightmare is working in a cubicle.

    I’m a Christian, but I believe in aliens, ESP, indigo children, and the like. I even consider myself to be a starseed or otherkin.

    I would like to start a webcomic. My life’s dream is to travel around the world in an RV, supporting myself be writing (or by being a parapsychologist).

    I have a fascination with Doctor Who and sci fi.

    Help?

  4. i never really had friends. once i opened up and started talking the same look of “shock and awe” would set it. it happened again recently. im either too smart or my ideas dont mesh with others. i try to be myself but i havent found anyone who really enjoys the whole picture. parts and pieces of me are okay for a little while but….

    at any rate. im trying to learn to enjoy life alone.
    i enjoy research, reading, all science, cartoons, my animals, horses, sci fi, fantasy, aliens, npr and many other things.

    btw… i’d love to talk to Kaseiko

  5. I’m sorry it took me so long to see your comment. I’d be happy to talk.

  6. Reewantae says:

    Hey! I have a good physique, I don’t drink and I don’t smoke, I have a great job (on the way), and I may or may not always have the correct opinion, but are you saying that I need to not be these things in order to not be boring? (LOL)

  7. i have never attempted suicide but i have been about ten seconds away from it. ive been through times where ive continuosly thought about killing myself. this makes me unbearably weird? let me tell you that i firmly belive that i have right to those feelings. its not my faulti felt them. its sad to me that somonelike yo i giving anyone else adve.

  8. aoknponte says:

    It’s being fair, reasonable,sociable of good will gainfully employed generous, problem solver, exchange of skills & abilities,overall good apple.This kind of weirdos I like and want to be friends with.

  9. One weirdness I have is a social one. I tend to get too chummy and attached to people who are in positions of authority to me, where the relationship is not really meant to be a personal one. Like the gardeners I volunteer for at the botanic garden…I texted them all merry christmas even though I’ve seen them like maybe twice this month. lol But it felt good to get it out there.

  10. Thank you for clarifying this issue of mine. Everyone calles me weird or annoying & i believed it. Not anymore. Now I know it is them who have a problem cuz they are going by what social standards are and you are just being yourself which means that you don’t go by social standards and that is good cuz you do not want to be the follower but the leader. That is the way I think about it. I am the leader while everyone else acts & dresses like everyone else. I totally hate that. Why do you have to copy each other? It is not cool. We “weird” ones stand the most of being unique.

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