As a communication coach, to smile is one piece of advice for improving people skills I can never give enough of. At the same time, once in a while, some people express concerns about it not being real and appearing fake. Although I’m a big believer in authenticity, I think when it comes to smiling, real or fake, the advice is still fundamentally solid.
Here’s one reason why. Let’s start with a test I bet you’ll find interesting. It’s a “spot the fake smile” test and it’s based on the research of psychologist Paul Ekman, a pioneer in the study of emotions and facial expressions. You can find it here, on the BBC website. Don’t just keep on reading; take the test.
. . . . .
OK. Did you take the test? How many of the 20 smiles did you identify correctly as being real or fake? The first time I took the test, I got 13 out of 20, which is just a bit more than if I would have picked the answers randomly.
The good news (for me) is that I’m no exception. Most people get similar scores at spotting the fake smile. According to psychologists who researched this area, people in general are pretty bad at spotting a fake smile from a real one. You’ll find out more details about this at the end of the test.
Smiling typically reflects friendliness and a positive state; it’s a great way for social bonding. There are particular ways you can go wrong with smiling and come off as weird, but you can learn about them and calibrate yourself at the context to improve your people skills. The general rule remains: real, fake, smile damn it!
December 29, 2009 at 7:38 pm
Wooh, I got 18 out of 20. I found it easiest to look at the eyes and feel if their smile had any effect on me emotionally. I found that the genuine smiles made me smile, but the fake ones didn’t.
I guess I am the exception, but I definitely agree that smiling is a good time. However, I do get an opposite reaction if a smile is over the top fake. Cool post!
.-= Henri @ Wake Up Cloud´s last blog ..How to Manifest Synchronicity =-.
January 4, 2011 at 2:05 pm
yeh dude, even i followed the same cue, eyes were a great help in spotting the fake. i got 16.
but, again, real or fake..smile, damn it !! lol
December 30, 2009 at 12:39 am
Woooh, that’s great! You’re doing circles around me
December 30, 2009 at 11:01 am
I remember about a decade ago reading of some research that showed that faking smiles often is very bad for ones stress levels. They said it was particularly bad for people in professions like retail and customer service people.
So, we would do well to find ways to make ourselves happier so we can produce more genuine smiles.
.-= Gordie´s last blog ..Look, Mom! My Blog’s Sprouting Pubes! =-.
August 23, 2011 at 9:08 am
Probably because smiling reminded them of work, which in turn stressed them. As you may know, recent research says that purposely smiling can change chemicals in your brain to make stress levels decrease. ^^ Smile!
December 30, 2009 at 12:40 pm
Jalus raises hand, stands up, clears throat and says,
“12 out of 20. I’ll be going to The Book Shoppe tomorrow to purchase the book,
“How To Spot A Fake Smile For Dummies.”
Sits back down and *smiles* ~ or does she?
December 30, 2009 at 6:38 pm
Gordie – definitely, if you can get yourself in the mood that creates a real smile, it’s even better. There is also some research that shows it can go the other way as well: a fake smile can improve your mood and become a real one.
Jalus – get 100 copies. There are a lot of us who need it.
December 30, 2009 at 7:19 pm
Great post Eduard!
I got 11 out of 20. I always find that when I do a fake smile such as when someone is taking a picture of me that people will be able to tell but surprisingly when I look at the picture I dont think I’m fake smiling….but natural smile pictures always turn out better!
Interesting though and fascinating research!
Happy new year!
.-= Amit Sodha – The Power Of Choice´s last blog ..For 2010 – 10 Unusual Places To Get Inspired For The New Year =-.
December 31, 2009 at 12:53 am
I agree that smiling is a great way to begin interaction with others. In my studies of psychology, I have read studies that show that you actually feel better when you smile. I’ve been experimenting this myself and notice that when you smile, most if not all of the time the person interacting with you will return the smile, making both parties feel better. It’s also a great diffuser when there’s tension between the 2 parties.
.-= Ken Kurosawa´s last blog ..How to Improve Your Odds of Achieving Your New Years Resolution =-.
January 8, 2010 at 2:26 pm
Amit, I prefer real smiling to fake as well. But I think you can still achieve a lot by smiling no matter the source.
Ken, I read some similar studies. Isn’t psychology cooool?
January 8, 2010 at 3:44 pm
Can I be the first to congratulate you in getting the blog back up and running!
YAY
.-= Amit Sodha – The Power Of Choice´s last blog ..This Film Is Going To Be The Next ‘Secret’ And I’m In It =-.
January 8, 2010 at 4:16 pm
Thanks Amit; it’s veeeery good to be back!
July 9, 2010 at 5:47 am
Jalus raises her hand again, possibly in an empty room, but that is of little or no matter to her:
“16 out of 20!!”
She bows and sits down with a *smile on her face thinking;
“hmmm Henri got 18 out of 20, Eduard will have to wait for the book.”
October 14, 2010 at 6:49 am
Is it possible for someone to always have a fake smile? (Ex. the sides of the eyes never wrinkle.)
October 14, 2010 at 12:53 pm
I never thought about that until now, but Yes, i think it is. Although, that’s what will give it away. A real smile is not permanent. Even if you’re really happy, that smile will drop and raise again, it will usually not stay frozen on your face.
June 6, 2011 at 4:56 am
http://img828.imageshack.us/img828/7584/20outof20.png
I just got 20 out of 20! I thought I would get it all wrong. Haha.
June 8, 2011 at 2:35 pm
Wow!
July 11, 2011 at 6:31 pm
I was hoping for more honesty in this test, it seems our society has gotten off track..? The more we fake smile the less likely we are to truly communicate with one another honestly. If everyone is fake happy it’s more likely many of us are holding something in and the rest feel left out and isolated because they can’t fake a smile as well as the others who appear to be much happier than they really are. I hope that makes sense? Either way: We are a very complicated creature no matter what psychology comes up with, it’s always been and will always be. Our brains are amazing, but I feel honestly should play a role in our ability to progress as a society. Many don’t like it but we all need it to move on.
For example(s): We elect happy good looking people to govern us because of this very concept and it gets us in many of our messes we see today!!! Geeks have a tendency to not smile and they often get left behind in the ol friend circles early in life. Many we think are friends (and even family) often fake their way into our hearts only to let us down later. I’d like to see a research test don on honesty and it’s effects on our life!
July 24, 2011 at 9:36 am
i completely agree!!! if it’s fake, how can your brain release endorphines??? isn’t that the pleasure center? honesty brings pleasure(satisfaction) and delivers an overall emotional healthy weel-being…not lying. even satan goes to church every sunday…
July 11, 2011 at 7:20 pm
Remember: You don’t have to always smile to be happy!
November 22, 2011 at 12:53 am
I got 19 out of 20! first time ever taking a test like this. and i also took another similar test to this one with human eyes (shows only people’s eyes and you choose one of the four words to describe what they feel!) got those all right!
(im a 15 year old female btw
i didnt even have to think about it really, i just “feel” the fakeness i guess. even in public, i sometimes notice when people smile that fake smile, so annyoing