Archives for March 2015

How to Be Memorable in 4 Practical Steps

As a species, we human beings are outstandingly social creatures. We crave companionship and connection. We love to be accepted, appreciated and admired by others. But perhaps one of the most fascinating social desires we have is the desire to be memorable.

We want others to remember us, to think about us, and to recognize us immediately when they meet us again. Having a place in their memory makes us feel proud, makes us feel valued, and sometimes it almost makes us feel immortal through their reminiscence of us.

The subject of being memorable often comes up in discussions with my communication coaching clients. I’d like to share with you 4 key pieces of advice on how to be memorable that I often discuss with them.

1. Start with the Way You Dress

I had a period when I used to wear colored hats a lot. Almost everywhere I went, I had a colored hat on my head. That taught me a valuable lesson about clothing: dressing in a unique way can really get you noticed and remembered.

People would constantly comment about my hat. They’d first get curious about it, then they’d get curious about me. After seeing me once, many would recognize me on the spot the next time they saw me due to the hat.

I even learned that some people would talk about me after having met me at some event, but they hadn’t remembered my name, so they would just describe me as “the guy with the colored hat”. The other person would instantly say: “Oh yeah, I know who you’re talking about”.

I’m not suggesting that you should dress in a really outlandish way. But having just one or two interesting and unique items on you can make you a lot more memorable. You’ll easily stand out from your average person, who dresses in a bland and unremarkable way.

2. Say Things Others Don’t Dare To Say

Hanging upside down is funThere are crucial truths that most of us need to hear, but we rarely do. Because others don’t want to upset us, get rejected, or seem impolite.

That’s one of the reasons many companies hire coaches and consultants: to tell key employees what nobody inside the company dares to tell them; to give them honest and complete feedback.

If you tell people what nobody else dares to tell them, you’re guaranteed to be remembered by them. Being very honest is great for becoming memorable.

In order to be so honest though, you need to be able to risk upsetting people. It’s worth taking this risk, but to be able to do so you need a solid dose of social confidence; which few people have. This is why most folks play it safe with others and hide the truth when honesty is risky.

Gaining social confidence is something I’ve coached many people in achieving. Based on my 6+ years of cumulated experience, I’ve created a practical presentation in which I will show you step by step how to gain social confidence fast, so you can be more straightforward with people. If this is something you sometimes struggle with, you’ll find this presentation very useful. So go here and watch it right now.

3. Notice Subtle Details about People

When you can observe and point out something to somebody that few people notice about them, or maybe even they’re not aware of, you’ve hit the jackpot.

You don’t necessarily have to notice something positive, and thus pay them a unique compliment (although you get bonus points for that). The main thing is to notice something subtle and make an insightful comment. For example: “Have you noticed that when I say something you agree with, you tend to start knocking with the tip of your fingers on the table? It’s cool how you do that.”

People love it when others notice subtle things about them. It makes them feel appreciated, and it shows you’re a keen observer, which is a rare quality. That makes noticing subtle details a great path to being memorable. So start paying more attention to others when interacting with them, and help them feel unique. You’ll be handsomely rewarded.

4. Help Others in a Big Way

Helping someone in a big way involves being there for them when they need you the most, and providing them what they need the most at that time. This can be emotional support, financial aid, proper guidance, etc.

It entails going beyond small acts of kindness like getting someone a box of chocolates (which most people can do), and doing something more meaningful for them. You have to exert yourself to help someone in a big way. But that’s exactly what makes it very effective as a way to be remembered.

People rarely forget big gestures done for them. When they look back at years or decades of their life, the persons they remember above all are the ones who contributed to their life in a significant way. You wanna be such a person for a good number of people.

Knowing how to be memorable and being so definitely have their benefits. And it’s not just about getting your ego stroked. When you’re memorable, since people pay a lot more attention to you, you have a special channel wide open to influence them. You have a genuine chance to change the life of other people. That’s the real benefit.

For more social success advice from me, please join my free social confidence newsletter.

Why So Serious? 5 Ways to Loosen Up and Enjoy Life More

I’ve always appreciated considerably people who are upbeat, optimistic and generally unperturbed by the hassles of everyday life; people who don’t seem to take anything too seriously and are able to fully enjoy life as it is.

Such people aren’t very common though, and a lot of folks are actually quite far from being that way. I certainly wasn’t that way growing up and in much of my youth. But I admired this laidback life attitude so much that I put a lot of work into developing it and making it my own, which over time I did.

Nowadays, learning to take things less seriously is also something I often help my coaching clients achieve. Drawing from their experience and mine on this journey, I’d like to share with you 5 key insights for loosening up and enjoying life more.

1. Get Some Temporal Perspective

Whenever something pisses you off or stresses you out, it’s good to adopt a wide timeframe and ask yourself how much that thing will matter as time goes by.

How much will it matter one year from now that you said something somebody found rude and they got mad at you? Not much, I’m sure. What difference will it make 5 years from now that you made some banal mistake at work and your results were suboptimal? Almost none, I bet.

The truth is that on a large timescale, very few things truly matter. This is why looking at things in perspective helps you relax and not take minor issues seriously. It weeds out the unimportant from the important and helps you focus on what truly matters, so you don’t pointlessly strain yourself.

2. Look on the Bright Side Too

I know that looking on the bright side seems like a trite piece of advice. But despite this, it’s one of the most relevant pieces of advice for people who take things too seriously.

You see, one major reason why they take things so seriously is because they look at everything that goes wrong, and they lose sight of all that goes well. They see the cup half empty in any area of life, and this makes it hard for them to enjoy themselves.

So in order to relax and have more fun, you wanna consciously practice finding and acknowledging the positive in your life: your qualities, your achievements, your opportunities, the things you do well and the things worth being grateful for. It doesn’t mean to deny the negative; it just means to see the positive as well. Your happiness will improve significantly.

3. Laugh and Make Fun about It

There is something subtly powerful about laughing at a negative event and joking about it. It sort of tells your mind that the event isn’t that bad after all, since you can laugh about it. And once that idea has entered your mind, it will start finding reasons why, indeed, the event isn’t that bad. So you’ll detach emotionally and feel more joyful.

why so serious

People who are optimistic and upbeat do this all the time. Some of them can laugh about anything, and that helps them immensely. I’ve seen people laugh even about the sternest situations, such as having a terminal disease. Because they have this mindset like: “This is what is; I can’t change it, so I might as well enjoy myself while I still can”. And so they do.

We have a lot to learn from such people. If they can joke about a terminal disease, I’m sure we can joke about the casual hassles of daily life.

4. Work on Overcoming the Deeper Attitude Issues

Typically, taking things too seriously is only a symptom of much deeper issues. Often people who take things too seriously are perfectionists and they can’t tolerate imperfection (their own or that of others). Many times they have visible self-image issues, and often they really lack self-confidence.

When having such issues, even a minor failure, flaw or perturbation in your life can seem like a very big deal and have a strong emotional echo, even though at some level you may realize it’s not that big of a deal. The only way you can change this effectively is to address these deeper issues and fix them.

Fixing these deeper issues will take some time and require proper guidance. I don’t have the space here to go into details on how fix them, but I’ve created a special presentation where I explain just that. In it you’ll learn how your confidence and self-image issues arise, and how to overcome them step by step. So go here and make sure you watch it.

5. Have a Rich, Active Life

People with a rich, active life rarely take things too seriously. They’re too busy doing stuff. They don’t have the time or energy to dwell on negative events and worry. In a way, you could say that worrying about minor things is a luxury, afforded by people with too much free time on their hands.

So an effective way to stop taking things too seriously is to fill your life with activities and keep yourself engaged. Learn, get a job, pursue your passions, find new hobbies, do some volunteer work, do something. It will keep your mind too busy to worry, and it has many other perks as well, like making your lifestyle more exciting and making you a more interesting person.

Life is too short to worry about stuff that ultimately doesn’t matter. But that realization is not enough for you to stop worrying. You need to take the proper steps to change your thinking patterns, fix the deeper attitude issues, and learn gradually to enjoy life more. It’s up to you to do this self-improvement work and make the most out of life.

For more help from me in improving your attitude and your life, check out my free social confidence newsletter.