This is a guest post by Jonny Gibaud, co-founder of Emergency Food Storage. Jonny writes for the love of helping people, inspiring people and Katie Holmes. For articles on Life Design, Business and Sexy Money head over to his blog or check out his personal BrandBase.
Confidence Is The Winner
Confidence, more than ability, is usually what separates the winners from the losers and so what better trait to focus on for improving your confidence.
Some people are innately very confident and I am sure we all secretly harbor some resentment towards them because of it but even if confidence does not come easily to you, it can be improved. The 5 Unorthodox confidence boosting techniques we are going to focus on today are:
1. Wear Outrageous Underwear
2. Make Statements – Limit Explanation
3. Learn To Love Silence
4. Dress Dapper
5. Finish Well
1. Wear Outrageous Underwear
Sometimes the only thing you need to do to put your fears to rest is to have a secret that you know and no one else does. Imagining people in their underwear is yesterday’s news, wearing your own outrageous pair of skinnies under your clothes in the new future.
Having this little secret that you and only you in the room know will help you feel more relaxed and settled.
Personally, whenever giving a presentation or networking I like to wear a pair of silk black boxer shorts with bright red hearts on. (Yeah, too much information I know) but it is this little outrageous act that relaxes me and allows me to be at my most confident. Try it and see for yourself.
2. Make Statements – Limit Explanation
Confidence is all about perception and the quickest way to destroy that perception is to overly explain your job, idea, background, latest travels etc. Try to limit the amount of explaining you do unless specifically asked to.
Simply making a one sentence statement is incredibly powerful because it comes across that what you just said does not need explanation or proof.
“I’m a Personal Branding consultant who works with my clients to define and project a powerful Personal Brand both online and offline” is far more powerful then “I’m a Personal Branding consultant who works with my clients to define and project a powerful Personal Brand both online and offline. You need a personal brand because…..and I do this…and this for you…with this on the side”
3. Learn To Love Silence
Silence is your friend, my friend.
Most people hate silences and will do anything to avoid them, and it is for this reason that learning to love them can be so powerful.
Whether the silence falls within a natural lull in conversation or when contemplating an idea, people will normally try to jump in and fill it with repeated words, fill words or just plain nonsense. Anything but the silence.
If you can learn to enjoy the silences, not try to fill them and use the time to actually think (as opposed to having shifty, uncomfortable eyes) then the world is yours. People admire this trait and subconsciously attach a huge amount of self confidence to your character.
4. Dress Dapper
We all make snap decisions, we shouldn’t but we do. If you’re not looking your best, you will never feel and act your best.
Remember how confident you felt in a Tux or a beautiful dress. (Tux for boys, dress for girls. Behave people.) Clothes make a difference and nothing saps your confidence like turning up underdressed and not looking your best.
Take the time to make sure you look dapper and let your confidence expand from there. Your look is the foundation of your confidence.
5. Finish Well
It’s all in the finish people. Fortunately you can make a hash of almost everything but if you finish well, that has the major impact on what the audience takes away.
Focus on always finishing speeches, conversations and network events with a powerful and confident close. Practice and perfect it.
With a powerful close that will leave a great impression you can be safe in the knowledge than no matter how badly things go, people will tend to remember at least a confident close. This knowledge will also help you relax and in turn act more confident. It’s a great fulfilling circle of awesomeness.
Get Confident
So there you have it. Five very simple and effective techniques for improving your confidence. Go out and give them a try, I am sure you won’t be disappointed. Also, as a shameless plug for my new upcoming book keep and eye out for the launch of CHOOSE: Master of Money Or Slave To It.
Rock on all.
Image courtesy of pasotraspaso
September 5, 2010 at 4:21 pm
Jonny, I wanted to be the first to comment on your post on People Skills Decoded and to thank you for a most awesome one. Also, the post with the longest title I’ve had (so far)
.
That part about limiting explanation particularly caught my eye. I think that people who spend too much time in casual conversation emphasizing their achievements and how cool they are end up appearing insecure and uncool. One hell of a boomerang effect!
September 6, 2010 at 9:10 am
Cheers Eduard and I know that guest post was long overdue, probably why I gave such a long title.
Limiting explanation is a key one in my opinion because it can be so powerful. It can take time to develop an ease with it but once you do then instant confidence.
Thanks for the opportunity to write on people skills decoded.
Jonny Gibaud´s last post: Need To Make Some Life Changes Costa Rica Would Probably Work
September 5, 2010 at 6:23 pm
Hi Jonny,
Powerful tips here! Thanks for sharing.
I love silence since you find the True You when quiet. You get all the right ideas. I build more confidence in myself through meditation than by any other practice.
Ryan Biddulph
Ryan Biddulph´s last post: Personal Development – How Do You Feel Around Opulence
September 6, 2010 at 9:11 am
Hi Ryan,
You are welcome, glad they helped.
Jonny Gibaud´s last post: Need To Make Some Life Changes Costa Rica Would Probably Work
September 5, 2010 at 9:02 pm
I can’t agree with this more! For people to take you seriously, you have to believe in yourself first — and a great, quick confidence booster is do something to make yourself proud! I have a go-to outfit when I do important presentations at work. It’s slimming, professional, commanding, and I think it’s gorgeous! I instantly feel (and think) like a “10″ in that one! It’s like a secret weapon that only I know about.
Samantha´s last post: How to Get the Most Out of Coaching
September 7, 2010 at 12:33 pm
Hi Samantha,
The importance of the dress to confidence ratio really cannot be underemphasised.
Go enjoy your gorgeous self girl! (Ok, I can’t do the whole camp thing very well, it just sounds strange in my head.)
Jonny Gibaud´s last post: Instant Confidence – 5 Unorthodox Tips For Improving Yours
September 6, 2010 at 9:13 pm
Silence is my friend. It’s my breeding ground for my best work.
J.D. Meier´s last post: Conflict Books
September 7, 2010 at 1:18 pm
As it is for mine, usually.
Jonny Gibaud´s last post: Instant Confidence – 5 Unorthodox Tips For Improving Yours
September 6, 2010 at 10:24 pm
Silence is amazingly powerful, being comfortable in silence is a skill we can all use. I think it also links in with limiting explanation – just learn to shut up!!
Kate´s last post: Overcoming Fear and Taking Action
September 7, 2010 at 1:19 pm
It most definitely is a skill and it takes time to learn and perfect. I still have times when I have to remind myself quietly not to interrupt or break silences because I feel I must.
Jonny Gibaud´s last post: Instant Confidence – 5 Unorthodox Tips For Improving Yours
September 7, 2010 at 2:02 pm
I have also found Silence to be a great tool in gaining trust and gaining information. It’s hard to listen when your talking!
September 10, 2010 at 11:12 am
Very true Rob
Jonny Gibaud´s last post: Why Believe In Others 4 Minutes That Will Revolutionise Your Thinking
September 7, 2010 at 4:26 pm
Excellent tips! I do have a tendency to over-explain if I’m feeling nervous or not-so confident. I’ve never given it much thought, but you really made me take a second look at this. I also love the idea about having a secret (wild underwear). That one is hilarious. Great post, Eduard.
Nea | Self Improvement Saga´s last post: Inspirational Words- Attitude Is Everything
September 10, 2010 at 11:13 am
Secret underwear is the future. Thanks for the comment.
Jonny Gibaud´s last post: Why Believe In Others 4 Minutes That Will Revolutionise Your Thinking
September 10, 2010 at 10:35 am
Haha, hilarious post, especially about the underwear.
I’m a big fan of making short, powerful statements. I really cannot stand it when people try to look smart by making things more complicated than they should be.
And since I’m already a pretty quiet guy, I would have to substitute the silence bit for “be loud and obnoxious because people don’t really see you as that so they will wonder in curiosity what magic cereal you had this morning.”
Love!
Mathieu´s last post: Links for 2010-09-09 delicious
September 10, 2010 at 11:15 am
Very true Mattieu, like the saying goes ” Better to be quit and thought a genius then open your mouth and be known as a fool” . I may be paraphrasing there or simply making it up, but dammit, the quote stands.
Jonny Gibaud´s last post: Why Believe In Others 4 Minutes That Will Revolutionise Your Thinking
September 10, 2010 at 11:10 pm
Hi Jonny, nice post… I agree that things like strange underwear can help someone to feel a little better about himslef, but my opinion is that the confidence is primarily internal force, and it not depends on factors such as clothing.
True, the fact is that some people has helped to wear nice clothes (or silly clothes), but, personally, to me, this had no effect on mine “growth of confidence.”
Marko — Calm Growth´s last post: 70 Useful Resources For College Students
September 11, 2010 at 8:26 am
I love the visual of the underwear. Might have to try that sometime myself
I know I have certain clothes in my closet that when I wear them, I just plain feel better about myself. And they do tend to be the newer, nicer things I have.
I need to work on 2 and 3 myself. Sometimes I have a tendency to over explain myself — usually because I’m not sure if I was clear to begin with. But it does come across as if I wasn’t confident. And I’m guilty of jumping on the silences. I will try to savor them as I go through my day tomorrow
Great post!
Grady Pruitt´s last post: Raise Your Confidence and Build Self Esteem!